Solemn Simulacrum
by Irkala
Summary: Just a sort of narrative of his dwindling last moments-before, during, and after; or at least something of what I imagined.


It was forgotten, although distant on his thoughts and memories—that is if he truly had any.

A plan, an idea, a notion, it was something deep within him that rang with an eerie nostalgia. Of course, the structure of nostalgia was ridiculous to him, at least now it was. It wasn't that he wanted it to be, it was that it simply was; that remembering times long since passed, that missing distant times and _friends_ was simply not necessary, not adequate.

He had always been looked at as something of a cold and distant person, but that wasn't his intention. Seemingly, his demeanor had always been something blank and forward, but it was always with good and true intentions, at least those many years ago it was. Now, it was something he couldn't control, now, his cruelty was something that relentlessly consumed him. It was horrible, it was—it was absolutely abhorrent. He could only observe as his own self, his own being was slowly withered down into a machine, a cold and calculating menace that simply acted on command and berserk-barrage. He detested it, he detested this curse, but above all, he detested himself. He wasn't a monster, he wasn't a killer by nature, but fate it seemed, had led him to such a path.

Those many years ago, when he was young, he loved the notion of being a protector. He would fantasize with his closest friend of such things, of being a hero—or a protector, of being someone who would save those in need, of being someone who was there at the right time to help. While his friend was a bit more obnoxious about it, they both shared the same desire, the same dreams, the same wishes. Now he was a husk, an empty shell that seemed to emanate nothing short of rage and violence incarnate. His kindness, his courage, his bravery, all slipped away into a void that must have been cast into a chasm far out among the cosmos. He would search the skies sometimes, those eerie skies of black—desperately hoping he would see an answer, he never did.

When it all began to close, when it all began to come to an end, he found himself under a skyline that only etched grim and solemn tolls into his mind, that plagued him with a mysterious and melancholic sadness. Something that he so desperately wanted to understand, but he couldn't—himself; here at the end of the world, a world that never was, he could only faintly envision his old self out there in the dark. He saw something of hope in the new sky though, he saw _death._ He wasn't too strong on it at first, _Kingdom Hearts, _looming up there among the holographic starlight. Yet as time passed, he began to reach a growing epiphany.

He began to realize that _Kingdom Hearts _was death, that it was the end of the road for him.

When he first realized this, a smile grew on his face. A smile—something he hadn't experienced in a long time. He realized that finally, after all of this time, death would bring down its mighty scythe upon him soon enough. He realized that when their leader ascended, they would be left behind to wither—fading in a great cataclysm as the world disappeared out of existence. Even if the plan was foiled, even if this, Sora, would stop his master, would end him, the outcome would be the same, just a bit swifter. How the thought made him shutter with something resembling excitement.

Then he began to rejoice at the sight of the eerie collective up in the night sky, he began to admire it. It would lead him to his death; finally after all this time, he would know peace. His life had ended a long time ago, eons ago it seemed. The life that seemed so distant on the horizon, that seemed so dimly lit in his memories. But he wouldn't ever forget it, for it was the only thing within him, then and now, that brought him even a faint sense of something that he believed was happiness. Those memories of him and his closest friend, those memories of him and Lea, they barely juxtaposed out of the dark to his inner eye, but when they did—they were the only things that reminded him of what he used to be, and how he cherished the past that seemed so far out of reach now.

His friend had drifted away from him strangely enough.

On a bleak note, his friend had fallen into the same black, empty expanse as he had—here in this world that never was. Yet even then, their hollow forms barely sculpted what was, and they both noticed that they began drifting apart. It wasn't long before he began to realize that his oldest and closest friend, that Lea, had become yet another subject for his master, for his authority. The realization was strange, how had this happened?

Lea even became close to a simulacrum of Sora,one by the name of Roxas; a being who seemed to remind him of his own heart, something that Saix simply couldn't do he realized. This thought pained him, and faintly, he felt something of a jealousy—after all his closest friend had drifted even farther now, taken by a mere illusion of what once was. It was a strange sense of irony, after all, was he not one too? Weren't they all?

How had this come to be?

He tried to convince himself that perhaps it was destiny, that perhaps it was how it should have been. But why? The fates had taken one thing after another from him, why take Lea too? As per his nature, he wasn't very visibly shaken about the whole affair, even when Lea—Axel seemed a bit discomforted about it. There was no doubt internally however, he was truly disappointed with how things had turned out. Now, he served a powerful and wise leader, and that he did vaguely enjoy on some hard to detect level. His master somewhat reminded him of what he wanted to be, of what he used to want to be. There was no question about it though, the old bonds that kept him going were dwindling, fading into the nothing this new body had been sculpted out of. His motivations were disappearing, and now, at the end of the road he had only one thing to look forward to, death.

He would stand at his window, staring up into the great and glowing void. He could only speculate how this was all going to play out.

At the current time, he, another member by the name of Luxord, his master's other direct hand Xigbar, and his master were all that was left. The castle was near empty. It was a bit odd thinking back, to when it was seemingly full of life—or perhaps a lack thereof. Back when, the Organization was much more solid, was much more united. The foolish seeds of descent were planted in a few unfortunate members however, and those members were to be sent away. Two in particular really irritated him—in fact, the act of sending members away out of uncertainty was mainly focused around them.

One was a young girl, in fact the only girl among the Organization. Where he seemed cruel and cold, she was truly—she was sadistic, as well as manipulative; his master saw holes appearing in her solidarity very quickly, they juxtaposed onto the surrounding members with a very blatant brightness. This 'Larxene' would be sent away, but with another that no doubt had mixed intentions. One who went by the name of Marluxia—one who was quite powerful in all reality, but also quite bold. It didn't take long to see that he would be a potential threat to the plan as well as the overall Organization, and with that the master had him sent off.

Calm, collected, manipulative, and dangerous, Marluxia was quickly thrown in front of Sora, and quickly dispatched as a result, all according to plan. This castle, also housed a few other members—but above all, it housed Lea. He was sent there for one purpose, to observe, intercept information, and take out members if it called for it. After all, everyone else there was marked for rebellion and suspicion. Lea did a fine job at that, taking out a good few and letting Sora do the rest.

Hearing that Larxene was taken care of was nothing short of satisfying, but hearing that Sora had taken care of Marluxia—who foolishly believed he had been given leadership of the castle out of admiration—actually made him feel he somewhat owed Sora, after all traitors needed to be dealt with swiftly, and they were. Lea began acting even stranger after those events though, and soon began disappearing now and then.

As his master's right hand, he was supposed to know everything that was going on and where everyone was. Deep down, he somewhat knew what his old friend was getting into, what he was planning, where he was going, but he chose not to face it. He didn't want to have to realize the hideous truth, and he dreaded those orders more and more from his master as time passed, the orders to, "Get rid of him."

Lea's treachery was not something that could be ignored though, and as it all came to an end these recent times, he knew he would have to face it. Yet Lea paid his penance another way; in the end Lea paid his price in an alternative manner, one that no one saw coming.

Observing Kingdom Hearts he felt it, he felt his friend slip away, an emptiness ring inside of him. He paused to take it in, he paused to remember, he paused to ponder what fate had befallen him. He knew it involved Sora, but he also knew that it wasn't from Sora, it was from his own side. Lea's treachery had to be dealt with, and it was—yet his death had come not from them, but from Lea himself. The Coup De Grace to his attackers stretched and tore his being onto the fabric of space, thus effectively ending his existence almost completely. As he watched Kingdom Hearts high above him, he wondered what Lea's last thoughts were. He wondered how graceful death had been to him.

For a moment he stepped out, away from the castle he waited in; he stepped onto the ethereal plain that his old friend had died on. It was betwixt and between worlds, and it glowed and shimmered with ghostly light that reminded him all the more of Kingdom Hearts. Approaching what appeared to be the center, he knelt down and touched the seemingly charred ground. There was no doubt, these burns, these ashes, however faint and dwindling, were Axel's—were Lea's. His death had heralded the finale, had been the harbinger that Saix needed to know that without a doubt, the Reaper and his celestial scythe drew near to bring an end to him, to all of them.

Sora was strong, and Saix was beginning to believe that he may in fact stop his master. He wanted his master to succeed, after all—they had worked so hard to obtain this. Yet in the end, he couldn't lie, he lusted for death, he lusted for demise. Sora bringing him to an end was very welcomed.

Luxord a man of chance, and Xigbar a man of principle—both were capable fighters, but he was sure that even they would fall to the keyblade wielder. There was no doubt anymore, the end was coming.

In that brief moment, and in the surreal silence, he whispered a brief goodbye to his old friend, wherever he was. What came after the existence of a nobody he could only guess, but he knew that more likely than not, they would never meet again. That was fine, if all went well, they would be at peace; in the infinite black of oblivion, they would finally be at peace. With that he returned to the castle, he returned to his lair, the lair of The Lunar Diviner. How the moon, how Kingdom Hearts calmed him as Sora ascended the steps, as he drew near, as _death _drew near. It was alright, all was well, it was fate.

After all was said and done, after everything crashed, after he gave it his all, he dwindled into oblivion. Sora put up the fight he expected, and even with his channeling of Kingdom Heart's eerie power, he didn't stand a chance, there was no surprise there either. In those final moments, as he broke apart into the void, he remembered Lea briefly, he remembered those surreal times those many years ago—and he felt a joy, after all this time, he felt a joy. He wanted to go back but he knew he couldn't—where he was headed now, he could only guess; perhaps even Lea was there too.

He knew he wouldn't live forever, but he believed that those memories just might, that their immortality meant something where his mortality didn't. With that there was acceptance, and finally after all this time, there was peace, a long welcomed and tired peace. And in his dying memory-dwindling and flickering out of existence, they would be forever untouched by the darkness that so cruelly awaited them in the future, forever young, and forever friends.


End file.
